Last weekend we had a party at home so say fare thee well to all our lovely friends. It’s hard to believe that two years ago, I knew none of the people who have now become my whole Hanoi life. It’s nice to know that such good people are just around the corner if you’re willing to leave your comfort zone to find out.
I agonised over what to do with little Maya as it’s not much fun entertaining and trying to put an infant to sleep at the same time. Also somewhat impossible. Plus all our usual babysitters would be in their party clothes and at our house. Finally we decided to ask Chi Hang, our cook, to babysit for us. As a mother to five children, I felt confident of her abilities.
Unfortunately, I didn’t factor in that the Vietnamese obsession with babies means not allowing them to sleep when they want to. There evidently is such a thing as too much attention. When I stuck my head in the door half way through the evening, Chi Hang was fussing about, rearranging her blankets, her arms, her head, while Maya looked half dead with exhaustion. Inevitably she’d wake up grizzling and cry and Chi Hang would have an excuse to pick her up. Then upon seeing me, she announced that the baby must be hungry because babies only cry when they’re hungry.
Oh the logic! Hanoian babies are fed at every opportunity because it’s thought that large babies must be healthy babies – the fatter the better. Never mind childhood obesity or diabetes later in life. What’s that? I once saw a baby who was trying to cry but every time he opened his mouth to do so, a spoon of food was forced inside. And Chi Hang is the proud grandmother of a two-year-old weighing 35 kilos. Enough said.
So I fed her, a captive audience, while Chi Hang sat on the bed and regaled me with other unwanted advice – how to breastfeed (umm, got that one covered) and more theories on how babies get cold. Then she leaned over and put her hand on Maya’s back and said she felt hot and I should turn down the a/c. Hmmm. Finally I said she could go home early and then popped Maya into bed where upon she passed out and didn’t resurface till morning. I felt suitably guilt ridden for having a party in the first place, as only a new parent can!
